Memorial Day

Some friends of mine donated a pool to us.  What a kind and wonderful gift.  I am so grateful.

Last summer was difficult for me because my son was traumatized by our lack of ANYTHING to do in the back yard.  Imagination is a thing of the past and what used to be fun when I was growing up... like playing in dirt and using inside toys outside.... just doesn't cut it with
todays "high maintenance" generation.  Our next door neighbors (literally an inch from our driveway) have a pool, trampoline, swing set, yard toys, etc. and me... nadda.  So, needless to say, my son moped the entire summer because they had all this fun he was watching from the sidelines.  I had to spend an entire summer watching him longingly look over the fence.  It was excruciating!

He would ride his bike up the driveway and keep looking over at the other kids hoping they would invite him over.   Then I had to talk to him about not inviting himself over or seeking pity.... then I had to encourage him to find joy in what he has.  Not an easy thing when so much laughter was going on right next door.  It stunk for him, and it stunk for me.  It was a tough time.  I understood my neighbors have a lot of kids and a lot on their plate.  However to a then 8 year old, that was not easily grasped.  I got frustrated and sometimes really angry, but we survived the summer.

How quickly the winter came and went and all of the sudden next door was getting everything ready for the summer ahead.... PANIC  set in for me as I realized I still had NADDA for our back yard.  I was dreading yet another year of moping, sad days and mommy lectures about gratitude and finding something to do.  Then a miracle... one of the soccer parents who I had become friends with told me they had a pool they couldn't use... did i want it???? ARE YOU KIDDING ME????  That was a miracle from heaven!  Finally, I thought, no more longing looks over at the other house.  No more moping and whining about nothing to do.  I REJOICED and gratefully accepted this blessing.

I should have clearly reviewed the parent handbook prior to my rejoicing.  If I had reviewed said handbook, I would remember that whatever I believe to be a wonderful gift and present, ultimately will be another "no big deal" for the child.  Yep, that is the generation being raised.  Please do not think for one second that I don't discipline my kids.  I take things away.  I ground and I limit all kinds of things and still, this new breed of youth, has a thicker skin than any generation before!! Not even appropriately administered spankings work.

Why do I say this?  Well, yesterday the pool went up and we started filling it.  Friends were here, and everyone was running through the filling pool whooping with joy... TODAY my son has wandered aimlessly around like a lost puppy.  He has come in and out of the house about 50 times in a 4 hour period.  Gone through 3 pairs of shorts jumping in the pool getting out and going inside.  He has looked longingly over at the next door about 25 times!  ARE YOU KIDDING ME????  How on earth can he not find some joy in what he has???  I just don't get it, but then again, I am old and happy to just get a moment to sit outside unencumbered.

I am so upset at this moment that I am seriously considering just draining the pool and giving it back, except my daughter is grateful to have it and will enjoy floating around in a raft reading over the summer.  So what does this mom plan on doing... right now I am considering a bearing wall that goes 20 feet in the air to block the neighbors yard and some ear plugs for him so he doesn't hear the laughter!

God is good and the cavalry just arrived, FRIENDS... now everyone is in the pool and happy. Friends do make everything better...... peace at last...well sort of.... now they are all fighting over the hose ~sigh

Mother's Day

I am the blessed mother of two very special people.  I am also the daughter of a very special mother. Yesterday I got to spend time with all three of them and throw the new eating lifestyle out the window and celebrate being a mom with my mom.  What a blessing that is.  When I think back to all the time I wasted not appreciating all I have the regret seems overwhelming.  However, God is teaching me to stay joyful and not let the imps get to me.  The past cannot be undone but the future is full of promise.  I am so blessed that my mother is still with me and able to see not only her grandchildren grow, but her daughter change and grow as well.

It would also appear that Mother's Day and special occasions always come along with a penalty.  Every time we head out for a special meal we have car trouble.  Last time we attempted to go eat out at a Japanese Restaurant, the engine block went on the car and we had to turn around and drive straight back home. This event, another attempt at a Japanese restaurant, I might add, and 3 miles from the place, the car gets a flat tire!!!  I had been happily driving to Wasabi's eagerly anticipating my "cheat" day meal of Tempura and Lobster Crunch Wasabi Mayonnaise Sushi and fondly remembering the debacle of the car breaking down... when WHAM flat tire.  It was a jumpstart into reality where God not so gently reminded me of not looking back, but forward!  Memories are not bad.  In fact I think it is awesome to have good memories, but when I constantly look back and remember hard times or negative things... that is the problem.  Just like Lot's wife being warned not to look back with longing on the past life and she became a pillar of salt. God really doesn't want us looking back and longing for what was.  I believe every day we should be striving for what could be not what was or, often times in my case what wasn't.  The shoulda, coulda, woulda's are simply things that should not be in our hearts or minds.

Happily, this trip to the restaurant was saved by my ex husband who did come to the side of the road; got all dirty to spare my fine pretty top;  got the donut put on and sent us on our merry way to the restaurant.  We all had amazing food and the event didn't dampen our spirits at all.  We laughed and enjoyed the moment, maybe even a little bit more because there was that minute of inconvenience.  The older I get the more I appreciate those moments of inconvenience because it means God is still trying to teach me things.  I have a chance to be better, to learn and to grow and show my children what it is to go through things with a good attitude.  Now don't get me wrong... I mess that up a lot.  However, this Mother's Day I managed to pull through without a temper tantrum or feeling like the world was coming to an end.  Many thanks to my ex for being a good sport and helping us out.  Delicious food didn't hurt either.  I hope everyone enjoyed their Mother's Day!

Wasabi's Japanese Restaurant YUMMY Spicy Sushi

Where to Start....Daily revelations

Today was an interesting day.  It felt like revelations and ah ha moments were everywhere I turned.  It started out as a usual day.  A day that started by waking up way before my carefully set alarm.  I decided to talk to God for a bit and of course my mind drifted and wandered all over the place so I tried to roll over and go back to sleep.... no luck.  I get up and prepare for a day of driving my 9 year old Edward and his friends to tumbling class.  We usually go the park and then the Y where I sit and play on my phone.  It is restful but not very productive when you have 9 million things waiting to do at home.

As I sat in my car at the park waiting for the boys to come back to the car I look up and see them... all four of them like the Monkeys walking toward me all in a line and it struck me that my son is growing up and these could be friendships that will last a lifetime.  I wondered if I am raising him to be a good friend.  I wondered if I am praying the right things for him... and it hit me.  No not everything I am praying is what I should be asking God to do.  I shouldn't be praying for him to be the best as soccer.  I should be praying that he be the best team player.  I shouldn't be praying for him to win all the time or score the most goals.... I should be praying that he does his best and works hard no matter what the score.  I should be praying for sportsmanship and honor.  No, I am not praying right.  I know that it is good that I am praying at all, but just any prayer won't do.  God sees to the heart of our prayers and if my heart isn't holy then my prayers won't be answered.   I want those prayers to affect his life in a positive way.  I want him to be successful, but not with the success of the world.  I want him to be successful in a way that is pleasing to God. I want him to have friends not trophies.  I want him to make good choices not just choices that lead to him winning at any cost.  No, that is not what I want for him.  I made a decision today to change how I pray for him and what I pray.  Phew, if hat wasn't a big ah ha moment, and that was just the morning....

I know this next part is probably going to make me seem like an incredibly spoiled, pampered brat... but it is important for me to put this to memory.  Today, I mowed my own lawn for the first time EVER.  I actually had to sheepishly ask my neighbors not only to borrow their lawnmower, but ask how to use it.  Lucky for me I do have mechanical aptitude and I was off in a minute of a lesson (I know it isn't incredibly hard).  However, there are a few pointers that needed to be made that I guess your average person knows... like if the grass is high and you push to hard the mower dies and you have to start it all over again (and again and again).  Also, grass stains (your feet very green)
Oh, and in case no one told you.. NO FLIP FLOPS.... who knew that not only would the grass completely dye your feet but your favorite sparkly flip flops will turn a puce green permanently.  (I may roll some hard boiled eggs in the stuff just to see if this is a new organic Easter Egg dye.)  Also, I guess I could have cut my toes off or gotten a rock thrown at them, but the angels were looking out for me.  Anyway, not only did I survive, but I felt a great sense of peace and comfort knowing that I had mowed my own lawn.  There is something so stress relieving in doing things for oneself whenever possible.  There is also something to be said for accepting help when you need it.  This occasion was just a simple feeling of peace and accomplishment.  It was a blessing and I am going to be grateful for that moment.  Green feet and all. I am thinking that this might be where the term "green thumb" really originated and that since I have green feet, my garden will be AMAZING this year.

I ended the day making supper for my family and getting one more moment.  The day was so peaceful that my usually ADD addled brain focused beautifully and for the first time in a very long time I was able to prepare the entire meal for my family without everything being timed badly and the meat ready 30 minutes before everything else so everyone has to eat cold meat and super hot veggies.... or maybe I am the only one that does this stuff.  Anyway, everything just seemed so stress free and effortless.  RIGHT AS THE SUCCESS AND PEACE WAS CREEPING OVER ME that devil creeps in and whispers... you shouldn't have to do all this by yourself.... you shouldn't have to serve everyone... it's Mother's Day weekend... you should be served!!!  THAT RIGHT THERE IS THE DEVIL FOR SURE... oh he had to show up.... whenever you feel the peace of God... trust me Satan will send those imps to whisper to your head all the lies he can muster to throw you off balance.  BUT I serve a loving God and He quickly helped me remember the most important part of my salvation.... I was SERVED by the Master who came to earth as a servant.  I was saved because Jesus SERVED.  The greatest blessing that God can bestow on any of us is the privilege to be a servant.  I am blessed my mother is alive and I am able to serve her.  I will cut her meat and fix her meals and clean her room (or ask my daughter to!) and change her sheets and help her bathe and I will be grateful for ever minute.  I will SERVE my children by praying for them, cooking for them, driving them to activities and offering as much discipline as needed.  I will suffer through their anger because I was given the blessing of serving these precious people that God chose for me to serve. Service is gift and that was the best moment of the day.  I got to defeat the devil and enjoy more peace.  I finished cleaning the kitchen.  I grabbed my now cold dinner plate and walked upstairs to write about my day.

I have now written my first entry in my blog.  Which officially rounds this day out as the best, most peaceful day in a long time!  This blog is just a simple journal of my crazy, hodgepodge of a life.  I hope it encourages someone to push on toward finishing the race.  I hope it brings a smile or a chuckle.  Everyday I will write something or post a picture.  I am not really good at this yet, but if God wants anyone to see this... they will.  Of that I am sure!

Blessings to the readers!